Overheard

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Forget Milk - Got Xanax?

(Scene: SC, MW, and JS are lunching at a restuarant with an outdoor patio)

JS: Do you know what I wanna do?

(SC and MW are afraid to ask)

JS: I want to get a whole bunch of Xanax and crush it all up and put it in people's drinks so that they can calm the f* down.

MW: You may be on to something...It's not ER, it's PR!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

AK to MW, SJJ, CM: So, I went to get my blood drawn at this sketchy place for my wedding license and when the nurse called my name to give me the results, she screams, "CONGRATULATIONS." I mean, I don't get why she said that.

MW, SJJ and CM just stare at AK in silence.

CM to group: You should be congratulated. Sphyllis is bad.

That's A Lot of Meat

Scene: Lunch line admiring sandwiches.

EA: Their so big! How am I gonna get my mouth around it?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?

Scene: A follow-up training session on negotiation skills, the main topic of conversation is avoiding the word “but” (instead of saying things like, “I agree we need to change the budget, but...” we should say “I agree we need to change the budget; how can we find a good solution?”). The team has been brainstorming ways to keep the “but” out of conversation. ZH leads the charge.

BW, to facilitator: I think you’ve done a great job of lighting the torch of inspiration here, and I also think ZH has agreed to carry the “but flame” forward.

ZH: Hey, that’s sexual harassment!

(Room laughs)

Facilitator: Wait, what’s sexual about that?

(Room laughs harder)