Forget Milk - Got Xanax?

(Scene: SC, MW, and JS are lunching at a restuarant with an outdoor patio)

JS: Do you know what I wanna do?

(SC and MW are afraid to ask)

JS: I want to get a whole bunch of Xanax and crush it all up and put it in people's drinks so that they can calm the f* down.

MW: You may be on to something...It's not ER, it's PR!

Before One Can Say "I Do"

AK to MW, SJJ, CM: So, I went to get my blood drawn at this sketchy place for my wedding license and when the nurse called my name to give me the results, she screams, "CONGRATULATIONS." I mean, I don't get why she said that.

MW, SJJ and CM just stare at AK in silence.

CM to group: You should be congratulated. Sphyllis is bad.

That's A Lot of Meat

Scene: Lunch line admiring sandwiches.

EA: Their so big! How am I gonna get my mouth around it?

How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?

Scene: A follow-up training session on negotiation skills, the main topic of conversation is avoiding the word “but” (instead of saying things like, “I agree we need to change the budget, but...” we should say “I agree we need to change the budget; how can we find a good solution?”). The team has been brainstorming ways to keep the “but” out of conversation. ZH leads the charge.

BW, to facilitator: I think you’ve done a great job of lighting the torch of inspiration here, and I also think ZH has agreed to carry the “but flame” forward.

ZH: Hey, that’s sexual harassment!

(Room laughs)

Facilitator: Wait, what’s sexual about that?

(Room laughs harder)

When its more than just wine...

Scene: TS is looking through a local supermarket's weekly flyer and in deep contemplation. After a few minutes pass, TS looks up and says...

TS: When wine is more than 15% alcohol, it becomes a spirit...i love it!

Gettin Jiggy Wit It

RS t0 AK: "Hey about that thingamajiggity you and I are supposed to do tonight?"

Cube farm breaks out in laughter.

Lick me...

JL to TC (commenting on TC's summer fashion attire): You look like mint-chocolate chip ice-cream.

It's Fleet Week in DC

RS: I need someone to speak military to me!

MW: JC speaks military. People sleep on his military capabilities. I'm going to pitch his military capabilities deck so that people know.

JC: Yes, I speak military.

MW: Hear that RS, JC's your guy!

RS: JC are you availble later for me to take advantage?

JC: Yes, just give me a 30 minutes heads up.

MW: JC, you are so easy!

Power Suit, Power Tie, Power Steering...

RS: How was golfing yesterday?

JF: It was fine, but have you ever seen JL without a suit on? That man is ripped!

(the next evening RS enters the elevator with JL)

JL: Any fun plans for the night?

RS: Going to the gym?

JL: Do you go to the one here?

RS: No, in VA.

JL: Oh, I workout in the one here every morning.

RS: I know, JF told me.

(JL looks uncomfortable)

IM Status of the Week

New to Overheard is the "IM Status of the Week"

"melts hearts not icecaps. stop global warming."